


Father's Joy

by tardisandjam



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, This is somewhere in s1A
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 14:42:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4183719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisandjam/pseuds/tardisandjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As much as he hates to think about it, Garrett was right. Emotion, attachments- they’re a weakness. </p><p>But when that weakness is in the form of the lovely little five year old girl in his lap, he thinks that weakness isn’t such a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father's Joy

**Author's Note:**

> When you accidentally post the Father's Day fic an hour late [Kanye shrugs]
> 
> This is set sometime in early s1A. There's no exact episode marker, but this is definitely within the first two months they're on there. And it's actually cute! And not super duper painful! Amazing!

As much as he hates to think about it, Garrett was right. Emotion, attachments- they’re a weakness. 

But when that weakness is in the form of the lovely little five year old girl in his lap, he thinks that weakness isn’t such a bad thing.

Grant never expected to be a father. Sure, he had one night stands here and there. He never expects to see them again, never expects them to lead to anything more than meaningless sex- most of them are on missions, with the few scattered conquests while he’s in between said missions. Jemma Simmons falls in that last category. 

It’s an impulse thing, to get out the last of the remaining adrenaline from the mission. (He’s pretty sure he’s been exposed to something, which results in him being ordered to the lab.) She’s pretty and willing and damn good in bed, and that’s all he really needed. 

Jemma’s the perfect one night stand. He doubts he’ll ever see her again. He manages to go nearly six years without seeing her again, but he does hear about her. Garrett gives him a little grief about not taking the advantage to use the sex to turn one of the brightest scientists they’ve got, but Grant isn’t bothered much. He can tell when someone’s a decent enough candidate to be turned, but Jemma is wholeheartedly loyal to SHIELD. 

He thinks she’ll just be a pleasant memory until the day he walks onto the Bus. 

(It turns out whatever he was exposed to on that mission rendered the contraceptive shots every agent was required to take useless. It covers him, but he’s not sure why Jemma’s didn’t stop her from getting pregnant. After she recovers from the shock of seeing him and he from the shock of a child, she explains her hypothesis.)

He’s not enthusiastic about the idea of raising a child on the best. Or raising a child in general. Grant didn’t have a good father, or even a passable one, and for the first few nights on the Bus he finds himself down in the cargo bay slamming his fists into the punching bag to drown out the thoughts in his head. He’s not so certain he’ll be a good father. 

For the first week he refuses to even acknowledge the girl when she’s around. He’s not sure if Jemma’s told her about him yet. He doesn’t want to know, frankly. That would make it certain that the girl’s his flesh and blood, and he’s not ready for that. (He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be.) A child is an attachment he’s not sure he can afford to have right now. That sort of responsibility can and will interfere with his mission to save Garrett, and he owes that man everything. Without Garrett, he wouldn’t be here, and through that- neither would his daughter. 

He notices things though, little things that are too difficult for him to ignore. How the strong cheekbones are very much his. The nose is too, and the rich brown eyes are a mirror of his own. But he can see Jemma in the way the girl acts, how her face lights up when someone praises her. The girl is brilliant and beautiful and absolutely perfect. He doesn’t deserve her, that little ball of light. Something so pure and good couldn’t have come from him.  

She’s the one who approaches him. He thinks nobody besides May is up- it’s almost three am Bus time, which makes it unlikely for anyone to be awake to find him. Skye’s the one who managed to get both Jemma and Fitz up to bed, and Coulson’s been in his office handling paperwork all evening. He’s only been down there for twenty minutes when he gets the strangest feeling, glancing up from the bag to see the little girl sitting on the staircase, staring at him. 

“Hi.” Her voice is sweet, small. There’s a hint of exhaustion. He wonders if she slept at all. Her hair is in a braid and she’s clutching a stuffed dinosaur (is it a raptor?) to her chest. 

“Hi.” Grant hesitates for a moment- the bag or the girl? He ends up edging somewhat towards the staircase. She’s not on the bottom step, so he finds himself looking up at her. He doesn’t smile (Skye says that it’s terrifying) but he tries not to grimace, settling on a vaguely concerned frown. “Shouldn’t you be asleep? It’s a little late to be up.”

“Couldn’t sleep. I had a nightmare and Mummy was sleepin’, so I didn’t want to wake her.” She pats the raptor’s head before squeezing it tight. “Blue doesn’t like the plane, ‘cause she’s afraid of heights.”

Grant isn’t good with kids, but he knows enough to understand what she’s trying to say. She’s afraid of heights, and she had a nightmare about it. He thinks he should comfort her. “There’s nothing for, uh, Blue to be afraid of.” 

It’s the wrong thing to say. Immediately he can see the girl’s lip starting to tremble. (He’s seen her cry three times since this all started, and each time it elicited the strangest pain in his chest. He wonders if it’s his paternal instinct, whatever there is of it, making its appearance.) His feet carry him up to the step his daughter is on. 

“Hey. It’s okay. I’m sorry I said that.” He breathes an internal sigh of relief when the girl looks up at him, watery eyes and all. “I just mean that, uh, I’ll take care of Blue. And you.” There’s another long moment before he gives into that instinct and wraps an arm around her. She’s so small compared to him, so fragile, and that instinct flares again in a way that’s nearly uncomfortable. “It’s my job to protect people from scary things. So I can protect both of you.”

It takes a second, but she nods. He smiles at her and is hit with a sudden realization- he doesn’t know her name. His own daughter and he has no idea. He vaguely remembers Jemma telling him, but they hardly ever use it on the Bus. It’s always sweet terms of endearment, like darling or angel or sweetheart. 

“Hey, uh, why don’t we head back upstairs? You can tell me all about Blue.” Maybe if he keeps her mind off the heights, she can sleep. “How does that sound?”

The girl nods at him, clutching the stuffed raptor ever tighter. “Can Blue and I have hot chocolate? Sometimes Mummy makes us hot chocolate when Blue gets scared. And you have to do it with marshmallows and cinnamon too ‘cause that’s how Mummy always makes it.” 

Grant nods and lets instinct take over again, pulling the girl into his arms and carrying her upstairs. He gets her the hot chocolate, letting her drink it on the counter before bringing her over to the couch. Initially he settles her next to him, but she manages to find her way into his lap again. 

“Blue’s afraid to go to sleep,” she murmurs tiredly. “What if somethin’ happens?”

He puts his arms around her and pulls a blanket over them. “Then I told you. I’ll protect you.” 

There’s a dazed smile on his daughter’s face as she cuddles tight against him. “Okay, Daddy.” One hand is gripping his shirt while the other holds Blue close. 

Hearing her call him that brings a new warmth to his chest. Right there and then he knows it. This beautiful little girl has wormed his way, right into his heart. There’s no way he can deny the fact that she is his little girl, and that she is his top priority now, to hell with Garrett. 

“Sleep well, sweetheart.” The pet name is strange yet familiar in his mouth, but he puts that aside. 

It’ll do until he remembers what her name is. 


End file.
